Tell it apart
| Aspect | Demure | Demur |
|---|---|---|
| Part of speech | Adjective | Verb |
| Meaning | Reserved, modest | To object or hesitate |
| Say it | dih-MYOOR | dih-MUR |
Demure describes a manner: reserved, modest, composed. Demur is something you do: you hesitate or object. 'She was demure' describes her. 'She demurred' means she said no, politely.
What it doesn't mean
Partly. The joke uses it more loosely, for any polished, considerate or low-key behaviour, from behaviour at work to manners on a plane. Much of the fun was applying it to things that are not modest at all.
Demure (adjective) means reserved or modest. Demur (verb) means to raise an objection. They look alike, but they have different histories.
What it really means
For centuries demure was the sort of word a novel used for a modest young woman with lowered eyes. In August 2024 it became a joke on TikTok.
On 2 August 2024 the creator Jools Lebron posted a 17-second video about how to be demure at work. More followed, with her tips on looking and acting the part in the office. Her phrase "very demure, very mindful" spread far beyond TikTok, and celebrities, brands and agencies used it in their own posts. The joke was the earnest, slightly old-fashioned word applied to ordinary, sensible choices at work, and everyone else then applied it to everything else.
Dictionary.com named demure its Word of the Year for 2024, and its reasons were mostly numbers. Use of the word in digital media rose by nearly 1,200% between January and the end of August. Google interest, flat for the previous year, reached almost 14 times its earlier level by the week of 18 August. At the peak, Dictionary.com recorded 200 times more searches for the word than in the days before August.
Dictionary.com described the new use as being about refined, sophisticated appearance or behaviour in settings like work or a plane. It linked the trend to a broader moment: people going back to offices after years of hybrid working and thinking again about how they come across in public.
The old meaning hasn't gone anywhere. Demure has been in English since the late 14th century, from an Old French word meaning mature. The prim, coy sense dates from the 1690s. And it is still easily confused with demur, to object, a different word with a different final vowel.
Where it comes from
part of an Anglo-French extended form of the word
from Old French meur, 'mature, ripe', from Latin maturus
Recorded from the late 14th century meaning 'calm, settled' and, of people, 'sober, grave'. The sense 'affectedly decorous, reserved or coy' dates from the 1690s. Not to be confused with the verb demur, 'to object'.
- Late 14th century
Demure enters English meaning calm and settled, or sober and serious.
- 1690s
The sense 'affectedly decorous, reserved or coy' appears: the modest-maiden meaning.
- 2 August 2024
TikTok creator Jools Lebron posts a 17-second video on how to be demure at work. It goes viral, and 'very demure, very mindful' becomes a catchphrase.
- Week of 18 August 2024
Google interest in 'demure' reaches almost 14 times its level of the previous year, according to Dictionary.com.
- 25 November 2024
Dictionary.com names demure its 2024 Word of the Year.
In real life
- I brought my own mug to the office, said good morning to everyone and left the meeting early without a fuss. Very demure, very mindful.
- He wore a plain navy suit to the awards night when everyone else was in sequins, which the group chat declared extremely demure.
- In the older sense, the Victorian novel's heroine sits demurely by the window, eyes lowered, while the plot happens to everyone else.
Questions
Q01What does 'very demure, very mindful' mean?
It's a playful catchphrase from TikTok creator Jools Lebron's August 2024 videos about behaving at work. It means being polished, considerate and not over the top, and it's usually said with a wink.
Q02Why was demure Dictionary.com's Word of the Year?
Dictionary.com reported a nearly 1,200% rise in use of 'demure' in digital media between January and the end of August 2024. At the trend's peak it was getting 200 times more searches on Dictionary.com than before August. It also linked the trend to a wider interest in public behaviour as people went back to offices.
Q03What does demure mean normally?
Reserved, quiet and modest in manner. The word has been in English since the late 14th century, first meaning calm or serious. The coy, modest sense dates from the 1690s.
Q04Is demure the same as demur?
No. Demure is an adjective meaning reserved or modest. Demur is a verb meaning to object or hesitate.
Sources
- Dictionary.com's 2024 Word of the Year Is… demure (25 November 2024).
- Jools Lebron: Wikipedia.
- demure (adj.): Online Etymology Dictionary.