Secure Attachment
Secure attachment is a pattern in which you trust that support will be there when you need it — which is what makes it possible to be close, to be apart, and to be comforted when you return.
Full definition of Secure Attachment →:: COMPARE ::
SecurevsAnxious
The short answer
Both want closeness — that's not what separates them. The secure pattern trusts that closeness will be there; the anxious pattern monitors constantly for signs it's being withdrawn. Same desire, different baseline assumption about whether it's safe.
Side by side
| Aspect | Secure | Anxious |
|---|---|---|
| Baseline belief | Support is there | Support may vanish |
| At separation | Distress, then settles | Distress, hard to settle |
| On reunion | Comforted, returns to play | Clings and resists at once |
| Attention goes to | The world | The relationship |
What each one means
Anxious
The contrast above sets out how Anxious differs from Secure Attachment on the points that actually matter.