Question 1

What is the difference between Limerence and Infatuation?

Accepted Answer

Infatuation is the everyday word: very strong feelings of love or attraction, especially ones that are unreasonable and don't last. Limerence is a narrower term set out by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979 for a particular pattern: intrusive thoughts about one person and an aching need for them to feel the same. Much limerence would look like infatuation from outside; the term exists to name what it feels like inside. It is a descriptive label, not a diagnosis.

Question 2

How do I know if I mean Limerence rather than Infatuation?

Accepted Answer

Readers who land here meaning Limerence rather than Infatuation are usually searching for phrases like “obsessive infatuation I can't switch off”, “I can't stop thinking about someone who barely knows I exist”, “a crush so intense it hurts and hijacks my whole day”.

Aspect	Limerence	Infatuation
Kind of word	A psychological term (Tennov, 1979)	An everyday English word
At its centre	Longing for the feeling to be returned	Intense attraction or admiration
Can be about	One person	A person, or a thing: 'an infatuation with the city'
Fuelled by	Uncertainty about where you stand	Not specified: any strong, unreasoning attraction

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