Cushioning
- “keeping flirty backups while in a relationship”
- “my partner keeps texting other people just in case”
- “the word for lining up backups while dating someone”
- “is keeping options open while in a relationship cheating”
01 · Side by side
Side by side
Comparison sheet
| Aspect | Cushioning | Benching |
|---|---|---|
| Their status | In a relationship | Single / dating around |
| The other person | A backup cushion | A reserve on the bench |
| Purpose | Soften a breakup | Keep an option warm |
| Read as | Emotional cheating | Leading on |
| You are | A backup cushion | A reserve option |
| Their goal | Soften a possible breakup | Keep you on call |
| Progress | Hidden on the side | Never activated |
02 · Which one you meant
Which one did you mean?
In shortReaders who land here meaning Cushioning rather than Benching are usually searching for phrases like “keeping flirty backups while in a relationship”, “my partner keeps texting other people just in case”, “the word for lining up backups while dating someone”.
Benching
- “he keeps me interested but never actually asks me out”
- “someone treats me like a backup option while dating other people”
- “why do they text me but never make real plans”
- “the word for being kept on the sidelines in dating”
03 · Which came first
Which came first
In shortCushioning. 2010s — Emerges as online dating slang, with a long-standing definition as a technique to 'cushion the blow' of a breakup.
- 2010s
Cushioning. Emerges as online dating slang, with a long-standing definition as a technique to 'cushion the blow' of a breakup.
- 2016
Benching. Coined by Jason Chen in New York magazine's The Cut, applying the sports term to a not-quite-relationship.
04 · Read either one